Cougars in the Mainstream Media — Social pressure defining acceptable limits of sexuality
Once again, women are subjected to public pressure concerning their sexual behavior.
Go read Cougars – unyoung women on the prowl in the San Francisco Chronicle, including the 150 comments.
This should not be news.
What women do, or not do, sexually or otherwise, really isn’t society’s business.
It’s not my business, nor is it your business.
But the mainstream media finds such activity titillating in the extreme. And makes it everyone’s business.
I find articles such as this one insulting to women. It’s 2009. Women are liberated, free to choose marriage, or not. Free to advance as far into a career as they wish… or not.
Or are they?
The subtext is clear, there is an “us” (readers) and a “them” (cougars). The author reveals her bias near the end of the article:
Now, for the big question: Do cougars want relationships?
Why wouldn’t cougars want relationships?
The author poses this question from a frame of doubt, assuming that these women do NOT want relationships. Maybe some do, maybe some don’t… again, why is it anyone’s business? And why is this a “big question?” Perhaps the question is bigger for the author than these “cougars.” (I don’t much care for the term “cougar,” it feels demeaning to women.)
But this is always the burden of women, to bear the brunt of society’s opinion. For example, the marriage of Samuel Johnson to Elizabeth Porter 21 years his senior was opposed by her family, even though it was accepted at the time that she instigated his courtship. After she passed away, he grieved her in his diary until his death.
How Much Does Age Matter To You?
The dirty secret here is that age is much less important than society compels us to assert. While younger men dating older women isn’t regarded as entirely socially acceptable or common, it’s likely much more common then we might be led to believe by mainstream media sources. I certainly dated older women when I was in my 20s, as much as 13 years older than I was. (Now that I’m in my 40’s I’ve also dated significantly younger women as well.)
What about you? Have you dated an older woman? If you’re a woman, have you dated a younger man? Tell us about it!
3 Responses to 'Cougars in the Mainstream Media — Social pressure defining acceptable limits of sexuality'
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What? I read the entire article, and didn’t get that impression at all. I thought it was rather complimentary. There were cited remarks about empowerment:
“Whether it has been Hollywood’s influence, the influence of her book hitting the media or a slow societal shift as women have become more financially successful and independent, women have taken control of their sexuality by leaps and bounds during the seven years since her book came out, [Valerie] Gibson believes.”
…favorable comments by male patrons:
“Younger women tend to not know what they want, whereas older women do,” he said. “It’s attractive, instead of chasing someone, to be chased.” There is also an appeal, he indicated, in not having to make a commitment. Older women don’t build their worlds around younger men, he said, because they have careers, full lives and friends.”
…and while one woman didn’t like the term cougar, another found it appealing. What women do sexually isn’t anyone’s business? Ok..yes, but I think this article was just exploring a growing trend, or at least one that people are being more open about. In fact, they even gave details on an upcoming cougar party, so I’m not seeing any disapproval here.
Harold
22 Jan 09 at 8:11 pm
I feel a subtext.
Some of the comments are really, really ugly.
David
22 Jan 09 at 8:30 pm
I don’t and the reasons are clear. The comments are, well…what do you expect on a newspaper combox? Some of them are ridiculous (women aren’t all that interested in sex–studs_lonigan), and some are pretty good (more power to them–Ken44; older women can teach a man a lot–Aquila). We can’t hold Ms. Zinko accountable for that though, can we? No, we can’t.
Harold
22 Jan 09 at 10:21 pm