Real Modern Man

I've recently been listening to the JWS shows on Eye Contact Mastery (episodes 40 to I think, 44?). I've realised that I naturally seem to have quite powerful eye contact, I instinctively follow many of the rules outlined even before I knew about it. The shows are interesting because it explains many of the phenomena that I've already observed without knowing what was happening.

However, I have noticed that when eye contact is particularly strong – it's almost as if she's hypnotised, she can't look away – the tension is too much for ME, and I break eye contact. Or I chicken out of approaching. I'm finding this very frustrating. Negative self-talk seems to be part of the problem. Also, if she smiles I usually feel too much tension to smile.

Any tricks I can do about it? Or is it just a matter of take a deep breath, grab my balls and do what needs to be done?

The Beast said:

I've recently been listening to the JWS shows on Eye Contact Mastery (episodes 40 to I think, 44?).

yes, 40 and 41 for the Basic Eye Contact, and 42, 43, 44 for the Mastery. 

I've realised that I naturally seem to have quite powerful eye contact, I instinctively follow many of the rules outlined even before I knew about it. The shows are interesting because it explains many of the phenomena that I've already observed without knowing what was happening.

It was the same for me!

However, I have noticed that when eye contact is particularly strong – it's almost as if she's hypnotised, she can't look away – the tension is too much for ME, and I break eye contact. Or I chicken out of approaching. I'm finding this very frustrating. Negative self-talk seems to be part of the problem. Also, if she smiles I usually feel too much tension to smile.

Any tricks I can do about it? Or is it just a matter of take a deep breath, grab my balls and do what needs to be done?

Yes, it is definitely something that gets easier with practice. That is true in my case, even to this day!

What I like to do is set small goals, intermediate goals, and long-term goals. 

So let's take this in reverse order:

- Long-term goals: be a man that can deliver eye contact to any woman, anywhere, any time, and with the maximum impact according to my wishes. 

- Medium-term goals: learn to recognize, then amplify my strengths and minimize my weaknesses, when it comes to eye contact. For example I notice that I still need to be READY for unexpected scenarios. Typically I will not notice any attractive women for a long period of time, then one walks by and I am unprepared or coming across as too reactionary

- Short-term goals: today I will make and hold eye contact with at least ten people, both men and women. I will do this for one week. Next week I will do that and then add “Hello!”; then I will add a smile + Hello, and so on. 

Cheers,

Joseph

P.S.: Since you started one of the first 5 threads here, I want to send you a complimentary copy of our book. Please PM me with your mailing address and phone number!

KOZMO said:

IMO approach approach approach

Start with Hi, Hello, Hey or whatever

I say approach so many times cuz that is what you need to do to get out of your comfort zone.

It is all in your head (the one on your shoulders)

I have no problem with eye contact, however I worry about giving the girl to much eye contact because she might consider it an “IOI” (indicator of interest)

^And that is a problem in my head. Personally I need to approach more also.

KISS (keep it simple stupid) go have a good time with people

^Let me take my own advice and keep it simple

If you see an attractive female go see what shes like. (talk to her to see if she is a cool chick)

That is what you should think when you see an attractive woman  “hmm I am gonna go see what she is like”

^Credit RJ

I think that covers it for now

Tell me Im right. Make me feel good lol

I would add “Approach with intent.”  Know why you want to approach, broadcast that intent non-verbally.

KOZMO said:

What would that be?  If my intent is to see if she is a cool chick, how do I broadcast that nonverbally?

Read and listen to Gunwitch.

His advice applies in long term relationships as well.