Real Modern Man

This stunning woman can't get enough of her sexy boyfriend... could this be you?

NOTE: I am speaking in generalities here, as every human being is unique. For example, there are a certain percentage of women who prefer to dominate men in bed, as opposed to being more submissive. No judgment is made either way; I love all kinds of people and I am simply speaking from personal experience. Also, it should be noted that I am not a psychiatrist or medical doctor, and none of the following should be construed as medical advice in any way.

Throughout history, women have often been judged harshly for expressing “too much” interest in sex; even by their boyfriends or husbands! However, if you look at things from a strictly-rational perspective, most healthy women have – almost at all times – these two very powerful desires:

• to eventually procreate. For that, her instincts cause her to become aroused by the sexiest man available to her (lots more below)
• to procure security for herself and her offspring. For that, typically, she needs money, men who are willing to come to her rescue when push comes to shove, and friendly alliances with other women. In other words, she seeks Physical, Emotional and Social Safety

So understand that when a woman is checking you out and sizing you up, she is (unconsciously) trying to ascertain where you fit into the grand scheme of events, people and circumstances that make up her life.

WHY GOOD SEX IS SO IMPORTANT TO WOMEN

Women love sex as much if not more than men do. There is enough scientific literature published on this topic but – anecdotally and as an experienced lover – the noises women make when in the act of making love; the intensity, duration and repetition of the orgasms for many of them; the importance they often place on the relationship that surrounds the sexual aspect – all lead me to believe that sex is one of the most powerful forces on earth, from the female perspective.

WHAT MAKES FOR EXCELLENT SEX?

Like with many things in life that I became competent at, becoming a great lover was a matter of stripping away bad habits, much more so than learning a pile of fancy new techniques. Here are some common complaints I have heard from women, both when I was much less experienced and they were complaining about me, and more recently when they were complaining to me, about other guys:

• Guys come too quickly
• Guys are too repetitive (aka predictable) as to motion, procedure, and location
• Guys seem to be totally absent (as opposed to present) once they pass a certain level of arousal. A woman in this position can easily fake an orgasm with you
• Guys place too hard of a distinction between foreplay and intercourse. For women, “sex” starts with the EYE CONTACT
• Guys are basically ignorant as to a woman’s anatomy
• Guys don’t take the time to get to know her body and preferences. If that takes an experienced lover 10 minutes, that’s totally fine! But ignorance about how she gets aroused as the unique woman she is, is really frustrating for her.
• Guys are too passive, asking her permission for every move they make, instead of boldly and lovingly dominating her*
• Guys have the Madonna/whore Complex. They fantasize about getting their woman into threesomes with other women, but if their woman notices a handsome man they explode with jealous rage
• Guys do not understand the biological secret I just told you! That women actually get greater physical pleasure from the act, with the right man, than even a man does. If he is ignorant about just how much women love sex, then he will be unable to employ this simple but powerful technique:

TEASING

The art of teasing is one of the skills I sought to master when it comes to female sexuality. Teasing means subcommunicating so many wonderful, sexy things, such as:

• You are enthralled with her body, but you remain in total control of your own. Remaining in control of your own body shows:
• that you’re really paying attention to her body and her emotions. If you’re not paying attention, you won’t be able to walk that fine line of holding back just a little from what she is craving, and pushing and pulling that effect in a rhythmic, undulating, and unpredictable fashion. Ravishing her, and occasionally making her say “please”, with both her words and her body, in all sorts of delicious ways. By doing this, you’ll have a shot:
• that if humanly possible, you’re going to make her come, and come hard.

Now, it’s important at this point that you understand that if your motive anything less than her relaxed pleasure, you will most likely fail. If you want to give her an orgasm to validate your own ego, you’ll probably fail. If you care too much whether she achieves one or not, that will create pressure on her, meaning you will likely fail. Yes, causing her to orgasm is a wonderful thing, and you take it seriously, but if she’s not ready or not able, it’s no big deal, you’ll still show her a great time.

I cannot overemphasize this point: your best shot at giving her the orgasm that she craves is by having a Zen-like detachment from the outcome: you’re fully present, fully aware, and yet, not dependent on the outcome for your own happiness, in any way whatsoever. You are interested in the outcome as an exciting and happy learning experience, above all else.

WHAT GREAT SEX MEANS FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Female Orgasm has been linked to greater fertility in women. And when a woman is audibly enjoying what I am doing to her, that pushes me towards my own orgasm. We can see nature at work here! Franco and many others have written that sexual intercourse releases natural human bonding and relaxing chemicals like oxytocin. Experienced lovers from around the world report that whenever they are able to give their woman the sex she really craves, arguments and drama are reduced substantially (at least temporarily… after all, nature requires us to perform this act repeatedly!). Perhaps there is no better way to sum up the situation than this cool graphic designed by David Clare: