Real Modern Man

Some women are direct.

They will tell you they want to meet you.

This doesn’t mean you respond with “Hey cool let’s jump in bed right now.”

It doesn’t – necessarily mean they want to sleep with you…

It does mean they want to find out whether they want you… or not.

And it does mean is that they’ve taken the initiative to get something they think they want.

When a woman sets herself up for rejection, your task as a man becomes much easier. In the Value-Attainability-Compliance (VAC) model for attraction, you don’t have to worry about value. If you had no value, she wouldn’t approach.

Don’t assume you know her motive or what value she finds! You can’t know, and she probably isn’t going to tell you all her reasons anyway. So don’t create awkward moments by assuming.

“Compliance” is a given as well. In this case, it may be more accurate to think of “agreeability” rather than “compliance.” A direct, forward woman is going to bridle at the notion of compliance anyway, but she has decided in advance to be agreeable.

That leaves “Attainability”…

Pay close attention:

A large number of men suffer from the syndrome of “any woman that wants me isn’t worth having.”

In fact, when the tables are turned and women approach, I’ve seen men act like little girls, checking in with their “bros” to assess the status implications for dating (or even sleeping with) a woman who doesn’t have a known (that means “high,” which really means “hot”) social status.

This is part of what women complain about when they say men only care about looks. Frankly, most men care as much about what other men think… as they do how a woman looks. (”I wouldn’t b*ng her with your d*ck, hyuck hyuck hyuck.”) This is absolutely true. Ladies, you can bank on it.

Strangely, the very best natural players I have ever known were quite democratic in their appreciation for women. A wide variety of women. Women in all colors, shapes and sizes. And it’s my motto that every woman sees herself, in some way, as a princess. And that’s not a bad thing. Find the princess. Talk to her.

So, what do you do when a woman approaches?

It’s easy. Do what you normally do.

If you like her, proceed. If she’s not attractive to you, politely decline or deflect her invitation.

Gents, the dance remains the same. None of the steps change. You still need discretion, sense of humor, to maintain your standards, everything. She has only asked for the courtesy of a dance. It’s up to you to know the steps.

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* Remember: VAC is just a model, it’s not reality.

* I’ve spent that last couple of years working on my personal approachability. Expect to read more about this grossly under-examined topic, and how you can develop personal approachability for yourself.