Real Modern Man

My Anusara Yoga Instructor asked all of us to prepare a short essay on why we choose to practice yoga, what it means to us and what purpose it serves in our lives. Below is the text of what I submitted today. 

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Why I Study Yoga

My first exposure to Yoga was at the David Deida seminar in Los Angeles, August 2008, with instructor Eli Buren. The seminar was on Tantric Yoga and maintaining sexual excitement and richness within romantic relationships. In the morning, men and women would separate for specific instruction designed to define and strengthen one’s masculine or feminine essence, as the case might be.

One of the Sanskrit roots of the word “Yoga” means to yoke, or to unite. Our modern-day culture creates the illusion that our minds and bodies are separate entities, with the mind being in control and the body subject to various impulses, usually bad. My belief is that the mind and the body form a continuous whole being, and the study of Yoga has helped me to remove many of the blockages between these two beautiful components of “me”.

One of my main purposes in life is to be an excellent lover of women, in the tradition of the don Juans, Casanova, and modern-day movie characters like Juan Antonio in Vicky, Cristina, Barcelona, and to teach these gifts to other men who are on the same path. We are a community of men who consider ourselves lovers, romancers, and seducers, who absolutely adore women, and seek to express these gifts in a way that spreads joy in the world.

In order to really please women, a unified, harmonious link between my mind and body has been vital. I am continuously cultivating such qualities as full body presence, poise, good posture, muscle tone, stamina, and grace.

I believe that what creates real sexual attraction between two beings is the polarity between the masculine and the feminine essence. I will write entire books on this topic but essentially, a person with a masculine core must be the ever-conscious witness to all things, as well as courageous and action-taking, as often pictured by the god Shiva. The masculine person must be conscious of his purpose or mission in life, and not be swayed from it, and also serve as the protector and benefactor to all around him.

The feminine person is represented by Shakti, which is the sacred force or empowerment, the primordial cosmic energy. She represents the dynamic forces that move through the entire universe.

To put in very simple terms, the feminine is life and life force, including art, music, nature, and all things of beauty. The masculine is the ever-present, penetrating and conscious witness of all of that. All humans have a measure of feminine and masculine within them, and it is very healthy for people to cultivate both their feminine and their masculine. However, people with a masculine core – like me – need to get in touch with that side of ourselves, learn to harness that power, and manifest it in the world in a benevolent way.

Our modern-day culture denigrates both the masculine and the feminine, but in different ways. In TV commercials, sitcoms, and popular music, men are portrayed as supplicants, or confused dimwits, fortunate to even be in the presence of a beautiful woman. How many times do we see the minivan commercial, with the “lovable loser” husband staring blankly at the upside-down map, while the hot housewife and their children all roll their eyes at him, until he is saved my the miracle technology of GPS? This has been called the “Homer Simpson Syndrome” and it is endemic. Subtle signs of it can be seen in virtually every heterosexual relationship that one cares to observe. The truth is, modern man is terrified of the feminine and seeks to hide from it.

Anyone with a strong masculine essence in our culture is typically portrayed as a thug, a criminal, or a moron, like pro wrestlers. Boys largely raised by single mothers and a dearth of good male role models has created a generation of wussies who are far more comfortable watching internet porn than interacting with real women, far more at ease lingering in front of the television instead of seeking out one’s mission in life and living that with courage.

The corollary of this is a generation of women who are frustrated, bored, and wondering “where have all the good men gone”. Romance novels are the highest selling genre of book, by far, and sex toys – which are predominantly used by women – result in annual worldwide sales of US$15 billion.

The essential problem with modern-day relationships is that neither men or women typically have any concept of what a noble masculinity looks like; neither do they understand how to cherish, protect and worship the glorious feminine that surrounds all of us. Only by understanding and appreciating these differences, and allowing them to flourish with honour and respect, can a really healthy sexual attraction be maintained. And only by sexual attraction is a full and healthy romantic relationship started and sustained over time.

Yoga combined with meditation has helped me to get in touch with my masculine essence. I understand far better how my mind and body work together. I am much more aware of what is healthy for my mind and body to absorb in the way of entertainment or food. I now understand what makes me nervous and why, and what puts me in the present moment. Yoga has taught me to love and respect my own body more profoundly. For example, while I never quit drinking, I consciously limit my intake. I now eat much healthier and I drink copious amounts of water to counteract the negative effects of too much alcohol.

Yoga has also taught me great empathy towards others, knowing that we all face the same infirmities and frailties; and yet, our bodies are universally beautiful. It was of great surprise to me to learn how many men and women have a low-self image when it comes to their physical bodies. Even though we are all human beings, there are distinct differences between the masculine and feminine bodies, differences which are beautiful and should be celebrated.

With Yoga practice, I have gained confidence simultaneous with a certain humility, which was surprising to me.

I am on a lifelong journey and I hope to share my discoveries with other men and women in a courageous and passionate way as long as my mind and body permit me to do so.