Real Modern Man

Inner Game

I’ve been getting a lot out of studying David Deida’s works lately. One of the most
attractive qualities in a masculine person is the quality of Presence. 

On an audio program, Deida said something that made a lot of things
go “click” in my brain. He talked about how you’ll often see insane people
in an asylum scratching themselves, fidgeting, or banging their heads against
the wall. They do this because they are literally going crazy just trying to 
prove their own existence to themselves. We ALL do this to some extent, 
and I think it’s safe to say that the more LSE one is the more of a tendency
they will have to fidget and lack presence. 

Think at the extreme end of the spectrum the fictional characters James Bond
and Michael Corleone. Michael was a short and small man but the look on his
face could literally terrify people. He displays zero self consciousness in the form of fidgeting, nervous eye movements, but just a still, all-aware Presence, emanating outward from a rock-solid inner frame. 

The reason we study good body language and the like is because those traits reflect a man who cannot be shaken by feminine energy, who is not afraid of it, but who can observe it and then act – when he chooses to! – for the sheer pleasure of it. And that is incredibly attractive to women. 

If you run up on “hundreds of sets” with memorized routines you subcommunicating that you are a man 
who really doesn’t have a lot of options. And if you approach a woman with
any other motive than attraction and pleasure, she will think you are either
lying or wasting her fucking time. Seriously, why are you approaching her? 
Being indirect is a good way to convey discretion, but in my opinion it is not a good way
to try to bullshit a woman into thinking you don’t like her. At a bare minimum, you 
should be clear why you are approaching, in your mind, and you should not
be approaching any random person on the street. 

 
Outer Game

I went to work by putting into practice these lessons about Presence, fidgeting and self-esteem,
last night with a girlfriend of mine. I simply stared at her. I already know she is somewhat-to-a lot
LSE so I decided I would stare, but with a loving face on. A warm smile, total
consciousness on my part, and no self-consciousness, fidgeting, touching my face
or worrying about her reaction. Just like the ideal Present Observer, as Deida 
describes the Masculine. 

GF: What??
JWS: (smiles more, not moving)

No more than 5 seconds elapse, and with mathematical precision she starts scratching
her arm, takes a huge chug of her beer, and fidgets….

GF: Seriously, what are you thinking??
JWS (I stay silent, but try to rain as much love down on her as I can)

She then starts qualifying to me in a massive way, talking about stuff that I was not even
thinking about, like how her conditioner isn’t so great, how she is trying to wear
less makeup, and so on. 

Did you ever see the scene in Godfather II where Robert De Niro (Vito Corleone) 
is sitting in his office? The landlord who tried to evict the old lady comes in to apologize. 
Vito smiles at him kindly, but the difference from a normal smile, I believe, is threefold:

1. His reputation precedes him. Clearly, Vito was social-proofed as a ruthless man who won’t hesitate
to crush his enemies (substitute that for a reputation as a ladies man and the women always leave
with x/y or z experience)
2. He is smiling from magnanimity as opposed to supplication. 
3. He has no fidgeting or self consciousness whatsoever, while he relaxes. He is fully present, watching things
unfold. This goes hand-in-hand with #2

The character simply cannot help gushing in submission, demonstrated by excessive qualifying, in the
face of this. The person with the higher self esteem, aka the alpha in the interaction, is blatantly obvious. 
What makes that one of the best movies of all time is the credibility of the characters. What happens in 
this scene is so plausible that our subconscious feels it could very well be a real life scenario. 

 
Now observe this additional scene from Godfather II. Notice the way Vito keeps silent
without any fidgeting. Even the town’s lead gangster subtly starts to qualify to him and make concessions
to him. The other secondary guys concede power to him. All of this is very credible, because his body
language, voice tone, eye contact and lack of LSE self-touching/fidgeting are what makes it credible.
There are good reasons why this is considered one of the greatest movies of all time:

Calibration

There is a concept known as Attainability (credit: Woodhaven, I think). Your goal is not to terrify women!

But the point of this post is to understand the effects of our inner beliefs and the outer manifestation of those beliefs, on those around us, and in particular, on women. In my case, I got my laundry done and a nice home cooked meal immediately after this episode, which was exactly what I wanted at that time. 

Be the man who is being qualified to, not the one qualifying. You don’t acheive this by running up and spouting memorized stories into every ear attached to a pair of tits.