Archive for the ‘tubstyle’ tag
Be Comfortable With Women
One of the keys to meeting women in a fun and relaxed way is by being comfortable around them. This means that you are so accustomed to speaking with women, touching women, making them laugh, giving them a good time, and so on that you don’t worry about being able to do these things. Note I used the word “accustomed”. You may still get nervous. You may still get excited. Those things are fine, and indeed are good. They will add tension and spice to the reaction. If you can feel comfortable with a woman and build sexual tension, she will reflect that. However, if you’re not used to talking to women, then no amount of clever one-liners will fix that. If you’re not used to touching women, then you will have a very difficult time escalating it to a physical relationship.
What this means is that before you worry about how to have sex with a woman, or how to get her into a relationship, you must first master the basics of human interaction. That means you have to practice, and you have to practice on everyone. If you only look for that one perfect woman when you’re out, and she’s the only woman you interact with, then you will be extremely nervous. Not only will you not learn to be comfortable, you will in fact train yourself to be less comfortable. Talk to everyone you come across. Make them laugh. Touch them. Make these things natural for yourself. Then when it comes time to that attractive woman, sure you’ll still feel nervous, but at least “what do I say” and “when and how should I touch her” won’t be on your list of preoccupations. You can instead focus on getting to know her and having a good time.
For those guys who already have a girlfriend, you may think that you’re done and you can just relax. No! You have to continue to practice and demonstrate your comfort with women. This will show your girlfriend that you don’t need her in your life, and she will appreciate you as a result. If she only ever sees you sitting around at home playing video games, she will take you for granted. There will be no tension or challenge for her. Also, if you’re not used to relating to people in a normal way and you see your girlfriend flirting with other guys, you risk becoming very jealous, which will damage the relationship. However, if you flirt with other women just as much (if not more so), you will realize that it’s not a big deal, and it will make the relationship better for the both of you.
If you are not comfortable around women, then that is the first thing you need to fix.
It’s OK to Date More than One Woman at a Time
There used to be a time when I would see a cute chick and think, “it would be nice to meet her!” But then I would second guess myself and think, “but wait, what if someone even better comes along?” It seems ridiculous now, in retrospect. I was always the perfectionist: I felt I should aim ever higher. Now I know better. I talk to all women! And I find that a lot of them are incredible in many different ways that I never would have expected. What’s more, just talking to a woman doesn’t mean that I’m somehow sacrificing my own freedom. I can meet as many women as I like!
Not only do most men believe that they can only be in a relationship with one woman at a time (I don’t subscribe to this belief myself), but many feel that they can only pursue one woman at a time. Partly it’s because society brands any man who loves talking to women as a “player”. And partly it’s because we’re raised to believe that there’s “one special woman” out there for us. The fact is, if there is that special girl, we’re ten times more likely to meet her if we meet ten times as many women. It’s statistics.
Movies may teach us that love is a matter of fate. But why sit around your house, playing video games, waiting for “fate” to drop a woman in your lap, when you can go out and start meeting many beautiful and incredible women immediately? And you know, for those of you who are nervous about approaching an attractive stranger, it’s less nerve-wracking when you know that there’s ten more women just behind her, eager to meet you. Not every woman is a perfect match. But contrary to what the movies may teach, the fastest way to find a great match is to quickly sift through all the not-so-great matches (I won’t say “poor matches”, because every woman can offer you something wonderful if you let her).
My life is full of fantastic women: Acquaintances, friends, lovers. None of them judge me for being the man that I am. In fact, they appreciate that I have so many women in my life, because they know that they can be utterly comfortable with me. I don’t see my relationships with women as an all-or-nothing venture. And by dropping my expectations of them, I find I have a lot more women choosing to be in my life.